Christmas comes but once a year.
Its just as well!
A time for all to have good cheer.
Its that as well!
Christmas comes but once a year,
A pipe full of baccy and a belly full of beer,
Relatives come from far and near,
Well you can't have everything can ya!

Mums cooking the turkey roast,
Oh ain't it nice,
Round the fire warm as toast,
Toilets just like ice,
To much noise and to much grub,
Even after they shut the pub,
Roll on Boxing Day,

Oh but we wouldn't be without it,
Wouldn't be without it,
Ain't nout about it wouldn't be without it
Wouldn't be without it,
Especially around this time of year.

Fathers talking politics with his paper hat on,
Mums going bonkers cause the Christmas cakes been sat on,
Uncle gone to piece since he got that jigsaw puzzle,
Aunty Nora bought it him,
He bought her a muzzle

Christmas comes but once a year,
Its just as well,
A time for all to have good cheer.
Its that as well!
Christmas comes but once a year,
A pipe full of baccy and a belly full of beer,
Relatives come from far and near,
Well you can't have everything can ya!

Newly webs Lorraine and Don.
They can't half scoff,
She wants to have the telly on,
he wants to have it off,
Chocolate papers, cigarette butts,
I think I'm going crackers and nuts,

Roll on Boxing day,
Oh but we wouldn't be without it,
Wouldn't be without it,
Ain't nout about it wouldn't be without it
Wouldn't be without our Christmas cheer,
Especially around this time of year.

Gather round for the Christmas speech,
God save the Queen,
Someone's mucked the picture up,
Her face is green.
Can't go out because its pouring,
Grandma's jawing, granddads snoring,
Cats been sick on the parkee flooring,
Still you can't have everything can ya.

Gather round the Christmas tree,
Just take your pick,
Pine needles fall into your tea,
Give it a kick,
I'll never eat again for the rest of me life,
The milks gone sour and so's the wife,
Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit,
Yap yap rabbit yap yap rabbit.


Oh but we wouldn't be without it,
Wouldn't be without it,
Ain't nout about it wouldn't be without it
Wouldn't be without our Christmas cheer.
Especially around this time of year.